Dark, Rainy Skies
by yupyuphahaha
Summary: A strange weather pattern befalls Gensokyo. The inhabitants dismiss it as unfamiliar, but okay at first, but realize that something else is occurring. Is this new, friendly stranger a part of this?
1. Chapter 1

_Okay, I'm ditching my last fanfiction. I really, really hope that this is better.  
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><p>*Plip, plip, plip*<p>

*Pitter patter*

The soft sounds of rain were drumming on the roof.

"*Sigh.* This is going to be one long, rainy day," Reimu mused to herself. This very morning, when she woke up, she looked outside at the sky, a habit that she picked up a few months ago. Her intuition would tell her, "**Oh, it's going to be cloudy today**," or "**Oh, it's going to be sunny today**," or even "**Oh, it's going to be sunny with a chance of danmaku today.**"

Today, during the early morning, even though the skies were violet and turning blue, and the rosy cheeks of dawn were rising from the horizons, and though there were no clouds in sight, her intuition told her, "**Oh, it's going to be very depressing today. The skies will be totally filled with dark, black clouds for as far as the eye can see.**"

"I suppose I should make myself some nice, warm tea. I just hope the rain washes away the dust on my front yard." The second statement pertained to her possible laziness. "But them, again, I'm going to have to sweep the day after. *Sigh*" She walked over to her table to make some tea. She took the white-and-blue delicate teapot, added some tea leaves from a container, and put a shiny and clean bucket outside. Not the bucket that is used for holding dirty water.

She waited for the rain to collect, and sat on a simple, wooden chair. She thought to herself, "Barely anybody comes to visit my shrine nowadays. Sure, Marisa comes here every so often, and Suika is usually drinking herself drunk, but today, I suppose not." She looked around her rather run-downed shrine, but to say run-downed in her face would be your death wish. Let's just say she doesn't get donations that very often.

Speaking of donations, she suddenly realized. "My donation box!" she gasped. "It's going to gather water!" She grabbed her gohei, even though she doesn't need it, and looked around for that rather-useful constructible nylon car tent that Yukari was nice enough to drop by.

_Flashback_

"~Hey, Reimu." Yukari jumped out of her gap right in the middle of Reimu's front yard, tracking dust onto the freshly-swept floor, carrying a—is that a backpack?

"What are you doing here, Yukari?" responded Reimu coldly. The gap hag doesn't usually visit my shrine, and when she does, it's usually for a good reason, she reasoned.

"Aww, come on, don't be that icy to your guest~!" she answered in a sing-song voice.

"Well, you don't usually visit me, and when you do, you don't bring anything but news to me. Usually bad news."

"Well, today, I'm bringing a gift for you. It should make your life a little easier."

"Well, I don't want it. Take your gift and go. Shoo!"

"I haven't even told you or shown you what the gift is, and already you are trying to get me out of here. You do realize I'm not going to go away before you take my gift? I'm going to pester you, continue pestering you, and make your ~oh so~ miserable until you take it!"

Reimu admitted to herself that Yukari can be a pain in the you-know-what, and to be on her bad side would be worse. Not that she have seen her bad side before. Either that, or she kept on missing the sights. She wondered about the possible words Yukari may have screamed out in anger at some hapless youkai. "Fine, fine, show it to me."

Yukari undid the straps on her backpack and slipped it off. The backpack looked more like some sack of random stuff than a backpack. There were some long, strong metal poles sticking out from it. Eight, in fact.

"I brought you something from the Outside World. It's supposed to—"

"What? Something from the Outside World? Why would you bring such a thing here?"

"Oops, maybe I shouldn't have said that. Or, maybe I should gap everything in this shrine away, if you hate it so much."

Reimu lowered her shoulders in defeat. "Fine, fine. Just tell me what it does, so you can go away."

Yukari smiled. "Reimu, oh Reimu, if you wanted me to leave ASAP, then you should've have stopped the complaints!~" she sang.

Reimu frowned. "What's ASAP? Tree sap?"

Yukari stopped smiling. "Ugh, I should've known. You don't write letters, do you?"

"I do! It's just that, well, I don't write them as often. And how would you write ASAP?"

"I don't know the translations for ASAP, not that you would understand what ASAP looks like written on a piece of paper."

"Uh, can you stop stalling for time?"

"Then stop asking questions!"

"Ok, ok."

Yukari pulled the eight metal rods from the sack. "You see these rods? They're retractable. These four," she pointed to four metal poles that looked more like really tall T's, "serve as the base." She pulled Reimu outside, and planted them into the ground. "These other four, well, you screw each one into the ends of the tops of these T's," and screwed each one to make a cube missing its bottom edges. "And now," she stated while pulling out the canvas from the sack, "You put this nylon cloth—"

"What's nylon?"

"Uh, just think of it as canvas, okay? I swear I'll just die of old age while explaining nylon to you." She placed the "canvas" on top and connected it to the construction. "And you're done!"

To Reimu, it was an odd construction, looking like some small hut or structure, with the walls make of cloth. However, to any ordinary human with cars and a grass lawn, as well as a driveway, it is a tent to put your car under. Not that Reimu knew about cars, anyways. She'd probably wonder what those metal monsters are. Maybe new youkai, or something or other.

Yukari quickly disassembled it and forced Reimu to learn how to put it up and take it down. Reimu was cursing while doing this. She's lazy, so she doesn't want to do it.

_End of flashback_

"Ugh, it will be an absolute _pain_ to erect it in this rain." She grabbed the sack, and took out the rods. "I don't have an umbrella, and I'm sure to catch a cold out there. She looked outside, back at the dark, menacing clouds that poured a huge amount of raindrops every second.

"**Then why don't you assemble the frame inside the safety of your shrine, and put it outside under its safety? Then, you can come running in screaming like a pansy from the rain, and even then, you won't get wet. That much." **her intuition spoke to her in her mind.

"Thanks, myself," she thought sarcastically. Her intuition remained silent. She quickly created the tent, and was about to move it outside when she looked out of her door to check if there was anything happening.

*Clink, clink, clink, clink, clink* Somebody was dropping coins into her donation box! She squealed with delight. Then, realization kicked in.

"Hey, nobody would be sane enough to walk all the way here and donate in the middle of this rain," she said to nobody in particular. She started moving the tent outside. "Maybe I'm just hallucinating."

Then, out of nowhere, somebody shouted over the sounds of the rain currently _pounding_ on her roof, "Hey! Missy! Why don't I help you with that?" in a clear voice.

"Uh, sure."

Reimu saw a dark figure hurrying halfway across the yard, since she moved it halfway already. Judging on what she could see, despite the darkness of the clouds and the heaviness of the rain, a cloaked figure.

"So, where do you want me to put this?" asked the cloaked figure.

"Well, can you put it over my donation box?"

"Yes, miko."

Reimu moved along with the tent, half-heartedly helping. She looked at the cloaked figure, and saw that he was almost her height. She fancied why she was studying people's heights. If she did that in Satori's presence, she would no doubt be attacked by Okuu for insulting her friend/master.

Clunk!

"There! Done," said the figure.

"Thank you for helping me, mister," she answered politely.

"No problem! I have nothing to do in this rain, after all!"

She thought about the implications. Why would a person be doing in this heavy rain? And why is he here, after all? Maybe he's just a traveler, visiting the many areas in Gensokyo. Whatever the reason, maybe he's not aware of the population aspect ratio. Why is he here?

"I guess I'll be going now, but I don't think that it would be a good idea for you to run back to your shrine in that outfit of yours," he stated, with a hint of concern, and pointed to her regular outfit. "The raindrops are as cold as the deepness of winter. I have an umbrella you can use." He gave her an umbrella. An Outsider's umbrella.

Reimu thought about his character. Certainly, she did not meet anybody who would walk in the middle of freezing rain without a motive in mind. It's as if he's as carefree as Marisa. Possibly even more carefree. She decided that she wanted to know him a little more.

"Why don't you come into my shrine for a while? It wouldn't be a good idea for you to walk around in this freezing rain, as you said. I have some tea boiling."

"Okay, then. I guess I'll go rest my weary feet. I have been walking around with no apparent reason since morning."

The two moved away from the car tent and into the shrine. Reimu just then realized that she didn't even put the tea to boil yet. Heck, she didn't even add water!

"Why do you have a bucket that's brimming with water outside?"

"Oops. I just realized that I didn't even start adding the water to the tea and boil it yet. My mistake!" she responded, a little embarrassed.

"Ah, people forget all the time, so it's not your fault that you forgot about your tea." he responded. He sounded friendly. "I don't usually credit fault to people who say that certain stuff are their fault."

Hmm, so he doesn't blame people, thought Reimu. You don't usually see much of those type of people around.

"So, mister, uhh…"

"Uhh, my name's origin is, well, kind of ridiculous. However, when I was a boy, I usually was found holding a teddy bear. A habit, maybe? Whatever."

"You still haven't told me what you've been called."

"Teddy," he said in a low voice, as if he didn't want to say it out loud.

"Seems pretty okay for you."

"Yeah, but you still seem like a forgetful miko. You still didn't—"

"Call me Reimu. And what was that about forgetting?"

"You put the teapot onto the stove, but you didn't turn on the fire," he stated simply.

Reimu groaned. "That's what I get for meeting new people. Well, sometimes." She turned to go to the stove, but saw Teddy already at the stove. He still didn't take off his cloak. "Why don't you take off your cloak?"

"I don't know."

"Why don't you at least take off you hood?"

"I don't know."

"Do you say I don't know a lot?"

"I don't know. Uh, I mean yes."

He probably wants people to see him as somebody who doesn't think very deeply, Reimu mused to herself. It might be a good idea for him, but I can tell that he might not make good friends. Or that people might see him as an airhead/blockhead.

**Maybe he's trying to run away from something, or is trying to keep something away from him**, her intuition echoed in his mind.

"Say, Teddy, what was your childhood like?"

"I don't know."

Reimu had a mischievous glint in her eyes, and since Teddy noticed that, he shifted uncomfortably on his borrowed seat. No, not borrow like the Marisa form of borrowing!

"Uh, are you just going to consider bothering me until I say so?"

"Maybe," answered Reimu. "But if it's private or confidential information, then you don't have to."

"Well, I'll just give you a simple answer. I never really left my house in my childhood. So, you could say I am not really that good in social situations."

Reimu rolled her eyes. "Puh-lease. That doesn't mean that you should just fill other people's ears with 'I don't know.' They might not appreciate that."

"I suppose so," replied Teddy.

The two sipped their tea after talking. After drinking the tea, Teddy spoke up:

"I should leave now."

"Why?"

"Well, because I want to? At least that's better than an 'I don't know.'"

"Well, you can leave if you want to."

"Goodbye, Reimu. Maybe I'll see you again someday." He stepped outside the door.

"Goodbye, Teddy." She wondered to herself, "Was I really _that_ friendly with him? Ah well. No matter. He can't beat me in a danmaku match. He doesn't seem like he can. Wait a minute." She looked outside.

"If it's that dark outside," she mused to herself, "wouldn't night youkai be running around? He has no way of defending himself, possibly. Then why does it seem as if he doesn't have any fear?"

"**Well, maybe he's different. He probably knows the risks, but takes the chance to travel around anyways."**

"He seems friendly. But why doesn't he show his face?" She wondered if Teddy had anything to do with this strange weather. She checked outside once again, and it is raining harder than ever. She could tell that it was raining cats and dogs outside. But why these clouds all of a sudden?

"Maybe there's an incident that's starting to occur. That must be a reason!" Reimu bashed her fist in her other hand's palm in triumph. "Otherwise, it's just some random freak weather occurrence. But weather patterns like that don't usually occur, and when it does, it's usually linked to an incident. Like that scarlet mist," she reasoned. "I guess I'll just go to sleep on it. There's barely anything to do in this type of weather condition. She yawned, and headed towards her futon. She slumped on it, and soon went to sleep. "One little sheep, two little sheep…" she thought drowsily.

Outside, the rain continued falling as hard as ever. But what Reimu failed to pick up was that some of the clouds were drifting closer to the ground, as well as the fact that the water level didn't increase after a certain point. Yes, even though it is raining buckets of water, the lazy miko failed to see that there was no flood. Meaning that this rain is magical, or casted by some youkai.

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><p><em>How was this chapter? Is it better than the really rough story that I wrote earlier? I hope so. Anyways, reviews, plz! I need to know what to improve on! And here's a large plate of cookies! (Whips out a okate of steaming, mouth-watering cookies from behind back) So, what do you think of this new OC? He's going to take a role later. Can you rip apart his character from what I put here? Please, tell me! I need to know the flaws! And, any conspiracy theories?<em>

_Touhou Project and its characters belong to ZUN. Teddy belongs to me. Oh wait, that sounds slightly wrong._


	2. Chapter 2

_Well, I didn't want to start my story off with a sudden BANG! Into the plot, so I decided to develop the characters a bit. LOL, I did not even know what Persona 4 is before Azure told me about it in a review. I suspect you compared my cloaked person to that person in that costume/suit/whatever that disguise was? And damn, I already thought up of an ending! I just need a good way to get there! Anyways, here's chapter two!_

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><p><em>*Pitter patter, pitter patter*<em>

Clomp.

Clomp.

Clomp.

…

…

… THUD!

A cloaked figure tumbled to the cold, hard ground, not knowing that he is back at a previous place.

A small distance away.

*Splo-bzzz-sh*

The sounds of numerous scaly wings slapping against the air and the rain.

"You can't hide from me forever, human, for I am Wriggle Nightbug, and my insect swarms will seek you out. Huh?"

Wriggle the bug youkai stopped, confused. In front of her stood the holy Hakurei Shrine. Inside the shrine's walls was the meal she was tracking. Rain splashed off of the downed human. She wondered about what to do.

"Hmm… that human is pretty much done for. But he's inside the shrine walls! It's expelling too much divine energy to let go inside the building, let alone the walls. Meh," she thought resentfully, "why does the stupid shrine have to be here?" She looked around.

"What could I do…" her ponderous thoughts echoed into the night.

Around the boyish youkai were fern plants, vines, and other random vegetation. There was also a rope stuck in the top of a tree. Some human's last ditch effort to escape.

"Let me see… ferns would do me no good. Vines, they're too weak. Tree bark, I can't even use that. Oh, the rope!" she exclaimed triumphantly, but not loudly. She got her insects to get it for her.

"Hmm… over the rope, around, and through… no, that's not it." She tried making a knot for minutes, and finally succeeded. "There!"

She turned to look back at the shrine. "Hah! Fate must be smiling on me today. There's no annoying miko at the stairs," she thought maliciously. "Time to get my meal."

Like a cowboy, she started to whirl the rope slipknot around. Like a cowboy, she threw it. And, like a greenhorn who had _absolutely_ no experience throwing ropes around before, she roped a bucket.

"Aww, crap. Wrong thing. I just hope I don't mess the yard around _too _much." She pulled the bucket back, and repeated the process.

Just like a persistent greenhorn who tries to learn the trade of a cowboy, Wriggle threw the rope _over and over again_. She kept on missing, however. Soon, a pretty pile of random stuff was stacked neatly outside the shrine walls. She made a pyramid construction with the buckets, barrels, brooms, sticks, plant pots, leaf bag, donation box, car tent, a youkai skull, and random other stuff.

"Ooh, Red-and-White will be ~oh so~ mad! At least this makes up for what she did to me," she bitterly reflected as she lassoed the human and started pulling him.

A large, dark shadow loomed behind her.

A guttural voice rasped out, "What do we have here? A squishy little bug youkai trying to act like some arrogant greenhorn on whiskey!"

Wriggle stopped instantly. She slowly turned around, fear on her face.

WHAM! She was sent flying.

"Thanks for the meal, little one!"

*THWACK!*

"Gah! What the heck?"

*Crunch*

A dark tendril appeared visible, and then vanished into the dark sky.

"Argh!"

A thousand dark shapes darted from the sky, surrounded the youkai, and closed inwards.

….

"Hey! Reimu! Wake up, ze! There's like, a dead dude covering your lawn!"

"Huh? Whazzah! What's going on?" Reimu responded sleepily.

"Ugh. Here we go. Masterrrrrrrrr…"

*Slap*

"DON'T YOU GO MASTER SPARK ON ME WHEN I'M WAKING UP, MARISA!"

"Owowow! I think you left a mark, Reimu. And that hurt, ze!"

Reimu groggily got up, and sat on her crumpled futon. "What's the matter with you, Marisa? Why couldn't you just let me wake up normally?"

"Well, there's this guy in a cloak who's stretched out like a shot-down bird in your front yard. I had to pull him in and remove his soggy cloak. Also, there's, uhh…"

"Oh! That must be Teddy!"

"Who's Teddy?"

"Some guy who came here to rest for a bit. What was that other part you were talking about?"

"Well, how do I say this? Umm, your stuff is stacked in a neat pile outside your shrine walls?" Marisa nervously whispered.

Reimu blinked. She blinked at Marisa. She looked outside, and sure enough, as bright as day, most of the tools, ornaments, her car tent, _and_ her donation box was stacked in a pyramid.

"MY DONATION BOX!" she screamed. She ran out of her shrine, and instantly regretted doing that without her flip-flops/shoes.

"Eww, what's this squishy black stuff on the floor? And why does it faintly smell of iron out here?" She looked up. "AND WHY THE HELL ISN'T IT RAINING ANYMORE, HUH?" she raged frustratedly.

Yup. The clouds were gone. Well, the clouds that sat in a mile radius of Reimu's shrine, that is. The rest of the sky, well, is still covered with clouds.

Marisa stood next to Reimu, holding her gohei and her flip-flops. "Never go anywhere without your trusty melee weapon and the shoes that you wear, Reimu,"

Reimu turned to stare into Marisa's face. She took her items, and then smacked her with the gohei.

"Did I ask you to bring my stuff to me?"

"Da~, ze. That hurt as well. Don't be such a grouch. Besides, have you seen me at any other times in which I brought you your stuff, you lazy miko?"

"Oh, right. Thank you, Marisa."

Marisa grinned. "Hehehe, no problem, Reimu. At least _that_ gives me a score of 231 to 230, with me in the lead, ze!"

"Marisa!" complained Reimu.

"Well, Reimu, I wanted to pull that card on you all year long! Speaking of cards, what exactly _is_ this black stuff around us, anyways, Reimu?"

"That's what I'd like to know."

Reimu suddenly motioned her hand to Marisa, telling her to stop talking. Marisa instantly did. They both listened, carefully. They heard a sobbing noise outside. They carefully crept to the top of the shrine wall, and looked. They saw Wriggle, walking around and crying. Marisa nodded to Reimu, and they both pounced on the hapless bug youkai.

"ACK! HELP! AMBUSH! AAAAAAAHHHHHH! I DON'T WANNA DIE YET I'M TOO YOUNG TO— GACK!"

Reimu expertly choked off the rest of the bug youkai's ramblings with a rag to the mouth. Wriggle's eyes widened in fear, and then distaste.

She spat the rag out. "Ah, what the hell, red-white! That rag tasted horrible!"

"Not as horrible as the bottom of my flip-flops, Wriggle. Do you want to taste that?"

"NO!" screamed Wriggle, and tried to unsuccessfully wriggle from Marisa's grasp, as her namesake is "Wriggle," after all.

Marisa deftly caught Wriggle's collar and said, "Epic failure, ze."

Reimu pointed her gohei dangerously at Wriggle's face. "Now tell us what happened, before I kill you," she said coldly. Wriggle turned pale at the gohei.

Reimu closed the gate, and motioned for Marisa to let go. Marisa complied, baseball broom at the ready.

"Now spill the beans, Wriggle. Tell us what you saw. Oh, and Marisa… OH MY GAWD! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WEARING MY CLOTHES FOR?"

Sure enough, Marisa wasn't wearing her witch outfit, and instead was wearing one of Reimu's spare miko uniforms. The spare one that Reimu never uses. She nervously shrugged. Reimu glanced inside, and saw Marisa's clothes _ripped_ and _dripping_, as well as _spiked_, _frosted with snow_, and _burnt_, placed in a pile next to the door.

"Don't ask, please. I had one looong day, ze."

…

Wriggle told Marisa and Reimu everything from her point of view, and was free to leave. After taking apart the arts-and-crafts project built outside the shrine and putting everything back into its rightful place. Except for the shreds. She absolutely _refused_ to touch them, even though Marisa threatened her with her mini-hakkero.

…

"What I don't understand, ze," Marisa said to Reimu, "was that thousand dark shadows Wriggle was so afraid about. Yes, that large youkai was one thing. But for those shadows to come out of the sky, seeming out of nowhere, and rip that youkai to shreds?"

"I know. It's just strange. I wonder if it has anything to do with those clouds?" Reimu replied.

"Oh, and about that Feddy person—"

"Teddy. What about him?"

"Well, he's standing right behind you, looking very confused. He's also staring at the tattered remains of his cloak."

"Really?" Reimu turned around. She didn't see Teddy standing. Teddy was placed unceremoniously onto a futon.

Marisa quickly reached out with her hand and snagged Reimu's tea cup. SLAP! The teacup went flying.

"Marisa, you crafty liar…" muttered Reimu when CRASH! the cup shattered against the wall.

"Oops, ze."

Reimu sighed, releasing herself to the unevitable. "At least that cup was already damaged," she thought to herself, trying to find a reason to calm herself down. She was too lazy to make herself another one, yet alone go out to the Human Village to _buy_ one.

Then, a voice shattered her thoughts. "Oww, what the heck happened to me?"

Marisa looked over Reimu's shoulder, and said, "The freeloader's awake."

"Hey! I heard that!" a protesting voice complained. "And I'm not a freeloader!"

Reimu turned to glare at Marisa, who simply shrugged. She turned around to face Teddy. Without the darned cloak in the way, she could see Teddy's appearance. He seemed to be about sixteen years old, yet doesn't have a trace of the rebellious teenage identity. Yet. One can never tell, she sighed to herself. He also had unkempt black hair, and he had bangs skewed across his forehead. It seemed as if he slept for an entire day, shifting and turning, then woke up and hopped out of bed. Without taking a comb and combing his hair. (Speaking of unkempt hair, Gensokyo has a strange quality in which one doesn't have bed hair. Exactly. So this might mean that Teddy wishes to keep his hair like that.)

"Well, now that you're all alive and awake Teddy…"

SPLASH!

"…I want you to sweep…"

*pitter-patter*

"… the… front… huh? The rain returned."

Indeed, the rain _did_ in fact return. Less heavy, this time though.

"Aww."

As sudden as the rain came, it stopped.

"You needed me to sweep the yards? Well, it looks like the rain did it for me," he answered, "though I don't know why the rain keeps on changing." He then said, "Thanks for the stay. I shall be taking my leave now."

"Oh no you don't, ze!"

"Yeah! You were knocked out in my front yard yesterday! Or last night, or this morning. So I expect you to repay the debt to me, mister."

"Yes, miko," he answered crisply. "Oh wait. There are _two_ mikos. So who's the new one, Reimu?"

"The one next to me is named Marisa Kirisame, and she's not a miko."

"Then why is she wearing what looks to be a duplicate of your clothing?"

"Long story, ze."

"Well, why don't you tell us?"

"Da~, ze. I don't want to tell you now. How about later?"

"Sure, whatever," Reimu replied. She was eager for a bedtime story, after all, and was smiling at what may have befallen her kleptomaniac friend.

….

For the rest of the day, Teddy did the chores Reimu asked him to do. However, he was enjoying doing them. It is as if somebody has given a purpose in his life once again, even if it is something as simple and humble as sweeping the front yard. (The area around Reimu's shrine remained without clouds.) He has spent most of his life after childhood wandering around, lost in nothing but his thoughts. Time and time again, everything avoided him, and he had no idea why. However, once he approached this certain area, things certainly changed. He no longer had to continue wandering.

"Hey, Teddy!" shouted Marisa. "Reimu's asking *cough* forcing *cough* me to tell you to go with her to the Human Village today!"

Teddy looked dubious. "Why exactly are we going? I mean, can't she just do that herself?"

Marisa rolled her eyeballs in her head. "Well, of course she's a lazy miko. Look at her, ze!" She pointed, and Teddy saw Reimu sitting in a rocking chair, staring out at the scenery.

"Better pack an umbrella. Besides, you're still in that miko outfit. Are you planning to go to your house?"

"Maybe later, ze. I just the weather clears up. Otherwise, I'm going to wear more of Reimu's clothes! How awesome is that?" Marisa eagerly chatted, forgetting that Teddy was _not_ one of her usual chatters.

"Uh, why are you talking to me like this? I'm not a cross dresser, you know! This is awkward for me!"

"Oh, right. Sorry, Teddy, I forgot you're a boy."

"Am not a boy!"

"Whatever, ze."

Teddy grabbed his backpack, because he felt as if he was going to need the stuff he kept inside. Like the pair of hard rubber-soled boots. He imagined Marisa wading through knee-deep icy-cold water with that miko outfit, and then suddenly Marisa is forced to switch to having to wade through knee-deep snow, and that's not even it. He thought of spiky hailstones, and chuckled.

"What are you laughing at, ze?"

He instantly blushed at the thoughts he had. "Umm… nothing." He mentally slapped himself ten times for being slightly a sadist. "Ah well. If we do come upon bad stuff like those," he thought, referring to the water, snow, and spiky hailstones, "I can give her my pair of rubber-soled boots. It's not like I need them. Besides, these tennis shows I got from, Jetless Corporations would do just fine." He wondered if Marisa needed a jacket.

"Huh, when did I started caring about other people?" he wondered to himself. Certainly, he didn't before. And now, suddenly, out of the blue, despite having blank years before, he felt different. "Ah well. I suppose this is good."

"Hey, Teddy."

"Yeah?"

"Do you know how to fly?"

Teddy stared at her in disbelief. "Fly? People can fly?"

"Yeah. For instance, Reimu can fly by using her Hakurei bloodline powers, and I can fly using my broom. I suppose, based on your response, that you can't fly. Am I right, ze?"

"Absolutely. I never knew people could fly."

"Well, get onto my broom, ze. I'll give you a little sight-seeing tour of Gensokyo."

"Uh, have you forgotten about the weather?"

"What about the weather? Isn't it nice and warm here?"

"Well, only at Reimu's shrine. I doubt it will be sunny elsewhere. Go on, look."

"Oh right, I forgot. The strange weather was the reason why I have to wear Reimu's clothes. My clothes got worn down by the weather patterns. No worry. I'll just create a danmaku barrier. At least my hat is okay," she said, and put on her effing-big black-and-white witch's hat with the mini-hakkero under it onto her head.

"Eh? You had a hat like that all that time? I didn't even notice that!"

"Da~, ze! Well, don't witches usually wear hats? And like any sane witch, I enchanted my hat to keep it from wearing down. If somebody does tear it, then I usually beat that person up, and Master Spark her. Then, I go to Alice to get my hat fixed. She's the best seamstress in the entirety of Gensokyo, ze!"

"Alice? She sounds like a nice person."

"Well, she is. Kind of. If you understand her point of view. Other humans think she's cold. You know," she droned on, "Alice used to be a human, just like me, Reimu, and you." She then poked Teddy in the chest to emphasize the word "you."

"So, what happened to her?" Teddy was curious.

"She turned into a youkai. If you ever meet her, you would see that she would usually have Shanghai around."

"Mphmm. Wait, who's Shanghai?"

"Alice's treasured doll. Alice is a dollmaker."

"Oh, right." Okay, Teddy thought, Gensokyo is inhabited by lazy mikos, crazy flying witches who say "ze," and people who are doll-crazy. Oh wait, that would be a stereotype. Well, he thought, I hope those dolls are cute, and not crazy like that Chucky clown guy.

"Alice's dolls also use lances, for your information."

Oh, crap, thought Teddy. Lances.

"A sadist?" he asked.

Marisa stared at him with disbelief. "Alice is not a sadist!" she declared.

"Well, shouldn't we get going now?"

"Yeah." She grabbed on her broom, and sat on it, with her back facing its side. And it was levitating. "Hop on, ze. Or, are you scared? We can always walk!" she teased.

"Ugh. Fine, then." He unceremoniously sat onto the broom.

"Okay. Hang on tightly!"

Awkward, thought Teddy.

WHOOSH!

"AAHH! AAHH! TOO FAST!" Teddy was screaming like a pansy. However, his internal thoughts were, "I can keep stability. I can keep stability. Wait. Am I falling backwards off of the broom? Ah well." He tumbled off, screaming as the ground came close.

WHAM! He smacked face first onto the ground just outside Reimu's shrine.

Marisa continued flying for a while, and said, "How's the ride, Teddy? Eh? Teddy?" She stopped, and turned around. "OH CRAP, TEDDY ISN'T FLYING WITH ME!" She flew back, and accidentally passed Teddy.

"Gah, this is no fun," said Teddy out loud. However, he thought, "AWESOME! I WANNA DO THIS AGAIN!" He saw Marisa flying back, slowly this time. He decided to tell her where he was at. He reached into his backpack and pulled out a bottle rocket.

PSEWWW! "It flew upwards in a burst of rainbow sparks!" Teddy narrated to himself.

CRACKLE! "It exploded with a fiery, rainbow bang!"

WHOOSH! "Marisa flew headlong into the flak burst! Oh wait, that's not good."

WHAM! Marisa abruptly smacked into the ground. "Ow, that hurt, ze. Don't pull another stunt like that, Teddy." She stood up, and recovered her broom. She looked at the state of her miko clothing.

"Whew. I thought you might have burnt that with your danmaku, ze. If you did burnt it, Reimu would _kill_ me—"

"Wait. What's danmaku?" Teddy was unfamiliar with the concept, and his internal thoughts went like, "She thought my bottle rocket was a danmaku burst? Cool! Maybe it'll function like a flak rocket later when I need it!"

"Oh, you never heard of danmaku before? Well, when we get back, me'n Reimu will teach it to you, ze. Well, that is if you know how to use it. Otherwise, just use that thing you shot. What was it, though?"

"A bottle rocket."

"Whatever. Get on the broom," she ordered. "And next time, try not to fall off and scream like a little girl again, ze. It's quite unmanly for a guy like you to do that," she teased.

So, she seems carefree, thought Teddy to himself, while answering, "I'll try to next time."

"Yeah, whatever—wait, did you just say you'll _try to_?"

"Yeah. I did say that, ze!" Teddy answered, trying to imitate Marisa' catchphrase thingy.

Marisa laughed, her clear laughter ringing across the clearing they were in. "Well, that's something people don't usually answer with," she responded, with some tears in her eyes. "Well, why don't we get going?"

"Ok."

The two got onto the broom, and flew off. Teddy was pretending to scream like a little girl again, while Marisa tried hard not to laugh and cause them to smack into the trees nearby."

SPLASH!

The change in weather was sudden. They were flying into rain again.

"I hope that we don't get _too_ wet," muttered Marisa.

Teddy wordlessly brought out an umbrella from his backpack, and told Marisa to slow down so the umbrella would not flip inside-out.

"Slow down, unless you want this thing to flip inside-out and for us to catch a cold!"

"Yes, sir, ze!" She slowed the broom down a little, just enough for the sturdy, umbrella made by Jetless Corporations to remain okay. However, that was still a little too fast. A policeman with radar would look shocked if he/she saw two people on a broom _flying_ by, and with the radar clocking at "Eighty miles per hour" and a robotic voice speaking "Please initiate pursuit and give a speed ticket."

* * *

><p><em>WHEE! I HAD TOO MUCH FUN WRITING THIS CHAPTER, ZE! Aww, too bad I have to go back to reality to do my homework. I don't understand why I'm going to be taking APECON in the tenth grade. Ah well. At least this fan fic would be a nice release from the daily stress of school! Not to mention that Mandarin class is boring, and I think up some possible ideas of this fan fic during that time. Anyways, reviews, and here's cookies for those who review! Whew. It is now 9:34 in Oakland, yet I need to do my homework. I'll try to write out the next chapter tomorrow! Or, I could just take a long time to write a <em>_**ridiculously**__ long chapter, but I like this better. Touhou Project, Marisa, and Reimu, as well as Marisa's Wonderfully Magic Flying Broom (that may win in a Quidditch match, sot sure if I spelled it correctly), belong to ZUN! Teddy and his wonderful backpack of reactive bottle rockets belong to me!_


	3. Chapter 3

_Uh, edit for the last chapter. Reimu was too lazy to go, so it is Marisa who's going with Teddy. I better start doing stuff with the weather now. Oh, and has everybody noticed that the clouds around Reimu's area has disappeared since the ripping to shreds of that youkai? Is it a coincident? I don't know. Conspiracy theories, plz?_

* * *

><p><em>WHOOSH!<em> An ice-studded branch passed nearby, dangerously close to the two passengers of Marisa's Magical Broom Express.

Marisa was thinking while flying with Teddy on the broom to the Human Village, "Well, he's a not-so-bad guy. He certainly does help, and possibly of his own accord. But I wonder why he was wandering around like that? People don't normally do that. OOPS! Almost flew into that branch there! Better pay attention next time."

Teddy was looking out at the landscape. Well, the landscape _after_ the weather patterns had dropped their loads of unnatural precipitation. For instance, they were flying above a forest that had ice statues on top of the branches, as well as more ice statues falling down. But when the statues seeming hit the ground, they seemed to melt into the layer of statues that already built up on the ground, not to mention the strange, dark misty shapes that seemed to patrol the grounds.

"Thank goodness that Jetless Corporations manufactures such _strong_ umbrellas," he thought to himself. The umbrella had taken hits from hundreds of icy statues, bounced off thousands of ice shards, absorbed several bolts of lightning, sent several incoming fairies bounding off as if hit-and-run accidents had occurred (the fairies weren't lucky. They got smashed into paper-thin papers and slid off the umbrella's water-proof and slick surface.), deflected ice knives that spun around at ridiculous rotational speeds, and generally lasted through the entire ordeal with the two sheltered underneath taking minimal damage.

Marisa saw a region without any bad weather conditions except soft, light, and magically-conjured snow. She flew over it.

WHAM! Marisa's Magical Broom Express smacked into an ice wall that suddenly rose out of nowhere and was derailed.

"ACK!" the two yelped as they were propelled off of the broom by the impact. However, the broom remained lodged in the ice wall, which wasn't an ice wall at all but a statue, while the umbrella was sent drifting a small distance away.

The two tumbled into the snow. Teddy was fortunate to fall onto his back into the snow. Marisa, however, was less unfortunate. She ended up being jammed headfirst into the snow by the impact.

"Hey, Red-and-White! Get up and fight me! Eye am the strongest, and I demand a rematch!"

"Red-and-White" struggled valiantly to free her upper torso from being stuck in the snow, while muffled yelling came from her.

Teddy was debating whether he should help Marisa or not. "I could help free her by pulling on her feet… but I'm afraid of, well, suddenly being a pervert. And I don't want to be one, and I don't want to be tempted! But Marisa doesn't seem to be able to get out of this snow on her own… Argh! What should I do?" His ethics and friend-helpful nature conflicted with each other. "Ugh. I'll just close my eyes."

Cirno watched as the human with the messy hair angled his head with the horizons. She watched him adopt a pose kind of like a zombie, arms outstretched. She wondered what was this human trying to do.

Teddy reached to where Marisa was at, grabbed her feet, and shut both eyes. "Ok… Here I go. One, two, three, PULL!"

POP! Marisa was freed from her snowy prison, while Teddy lost his balance when he pulled Marisa.

"Ouff!" he grunted as Marisa awkwardly fell onto him. "Oh crap. Now this was what I was afraid of." Imaginary voices were jeering in his head, singing, "AWKWARD, AWKWARD! YOU LOVE THIS, DON"T YOU, HUH? DON'T DENY IT!"

…

While struggling in the snow to get free, Marisa was thinking, "Ouch. Aww, I'm stuck headfirst in the snow." She attempted to push the snow with her hands to push herself out, except the snow got easily crushed. She felt two soft, warm hands grab her ankles. They paused, and then suddenly pulled. She felt the snow slip by, and popped out, while landing on the now-unbalanced Teddy.

"Huh, so that solves the problem, ze," she said out loud. She realized that she was on something warm.

"Uh, Marisa? Can you get off of me?"

"Huh? Teddy?" she looked, and realize, somehow, that she was on top of Teddy's chest. "Oh, right." She quickly got off before anybody, like that annoying reporter Aya, could take a picture. Speaking of Aya, Marisa thought to herself as she got up and brushed the snow off of Reimu's miko outfit, where is she now? Maybe she's coped up in her house because of the weather. She looked around, and saw Cirno. Staring.

"Huh? Black-and-White?"

"Yes, Cirno, it's me, Marisa."

"B-but, Black-and-w-White—" she spluttered.

"Long story, Cirno."

"What happened, Black-and-White? Why are you wearing Red-and-White's clothes?" Cirno had a really puzzled look on her face. She thought she saw Reimu, but saw Marisa instead. In Reimu's clothes.

"How 'bout this, ze. I borrowed Reimu's clothes."

Cirno's puzzled look slowly vanished while she contemplated this. "So you killed her? But Eye wanted to kill her! That's no fair!" she complained.

"Uh, Cirno? Reimu's not dead."

"I wanted to—oh wait, she isn't? Then how did you get her clothes? Didn't she wear them?" Cirno inquired.

"Da~, ze, do I have to explain this?" Marisa flailed her hands around in frustration. She did not like how Cirno's stupidity is making the fairy believe that she killed Reimu.

"Uh, can somebody enlighten me on what's going on?" Teddy suddenly interrupted their talking.

"Who's that?" asked Cirno, and pointed her small finger at Teddy.

"His name is Teddy, and he is a…" Marisa debated calling him a friend right now. Ah well, she decided, he seems nice enough to be a good person. "…friend," she finished.

"Is he strong? Eye can prove that Eye'm stronger than him!"

"Well, he doesn't exactly know how to shoot danmaku."

"Oh." Cirno seemed disappointed. Then she stared in disbelief. "I thought everybody knew how to shoot danmaku."

"Well, not everybody," answered Teddy. "Although I need to learn how to."

"Fight me, then. Eye'm stronger than you, and I can prove it," boasted Cirno.

"Fine, fine." Teddy answered. He stared at the child-like ice fairy, and then checked whether his backpack was on his shoulders. Yes, it was.

"Eye will start," spoke Cirno. To test Teddy, she shot a quick pattern of icy danmaku at him. They took the form of omnidirectional snowflakes.

Teddy carefully watched the danmaku. "Hmm… right, left, right." He leaned to the right, then the left, and then back to the right, allowing the danmaku to pass by. He felt one nearly touch his ear. "Wow! That's cold!" he muttered, reaching into his backpack. He pulled out a cylindrical metal tube that had a handle on it and a trigger. Just like a bazooka.

"Eh? What is that?" asked a clueless Cirno. She watched as Teddy pointed it at her. He pressed the trigger.

*Click, click, click*

"Darn. I forgot to add something," he muttered. Cirno became interested in what Teddy was doing, and dropped the spell card she had in her hand.

Teddy started rummaging around in his backpack. He still couldn't find what he wanted, so he placed his head in there as well. Marisa realized that that backpack was no ordinary one: why would a person be able to fit his/her head into it, as well as that cylinder?

"Here we go!" announced Teddy, smiling. He pulled out a stick that had a bottle attached to it.

_Flashback_

"Eh?" Marisa thought as she flew over a clearing. "Ah, there he is!" She saw Teddy handling a strange object. "I wonder about what it does, ze," Marisa wondered. "Maybe I can steal it!" She flew to where Teddy was at, but saw him take out a smaller twig that somehow burst into flames. She watched as Teddy held the fire-twig to the thing on the stick.

Fzzz! The string lit on fire, and sparked.

WHOOSH! The rocket flew towards her.

"Oh, Craaaa…"

_End of flashback_

"Teddy, is that the thing that you launched at me before, ze?"

"Uh huh." He loaded it into the cylinder.

Marisa quickly crept to where his backpack was. She picked it up, and looked into it. She saw nothing but darkness.

"Hmm…" she wondered to herself. She turned it upside-down and started shaking it.

*Fwump*

*CLATTER CLATTER*

Bottle rockets began to fall out of the backpack. In huge numbers.

"Uh, Marisa? What are you doing with my backpack?"

"Eye'm the strongest, and Eye demand an explanation, Black-white!"

She replied, "Hmm? Oh, I'm just looking if you have anything worthwhile to borrow." She flipped it right-side up. "Meh, ze. Don't you have anything else in there than those whatchamacallits?"

By now, there was a rather large pile of bottle rockets. Teddy cautiously stepped away from it.

"Well, I do." He motioned for Marisa to come to him with the backpack. Marisa walked/shuffled through the snow over to him.

"Give me my backpack back, Marisa."

"Why?" she replied.

"Well, I need to get something from it."

Marisa looked at him, then at the backpack, and then back at him. She grudgingly gave it to Teddy, but then took his cylinder.

"Hey! Cirno! I got something for you!"

"What is it?" asked the Strongest.

Teddy pulled out a small box. He opened it and pulled out a match. He tossed the box at Cirno, and she caught it.

"Take one of those sticks in there," he motioned to the match he had, "and strike it against the box."

"You mean like this?" Cirno pulled out one of the matches, and then started bashing the box with it. The box, which was wood, stubbornly remained intact.

"No, no," replied Teddy. He pulled out another match box. "Like this." He smoothly put the match head against the rough red area of the box. "You put the match head—"

"What's a match head, mister?"

"Uh, the red part of the stick. See the clump?"

"Yeah, Eye do."

"Put it against the rough red part of the box." Cirno did.

"And now," he said, "strike the head against the box, like this." He jerked the match against the sandpaper, and the head burst into fire.

"Cool! Eye wanna do that!"

"Of course you can. Don't you have a box, too?"

"Oh. Right."

Cirno attempted to replicate Teddy's actions, but failed. She also failed to notice that she was standing on the pile of rockets, because she wanted to investigate them.

Marisa could see where this is going. "Uh, Teddy? Shouldn't we be going to the Human Village now?"

"Oh, right. I forgot about that. So long, uh, what's your name?"

"My name's Cirno, the strongest fairy ever! And what's your name, mister? You do seem nice."

"I'm sure you're the strongest, and my name's Teddy," replied Teddy, and gave her a patronizing smile, with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. Marisa, however, didn't hear the sarcasm, because she was turned around to tug her broom from the ice statue. Of Cirno. She grabbed the umbrella, too.

"Yay! I done it!" squealed Cirno with delight. She had caused a match to catch on fire. She dropped it, pulled out another match, and repeated the process.

"Umm, wouldn't that be a little too dangerous?" Teddy said to Marisa.

"Don't worry, ze. She's an ice fairy, and fairies die and resurrect all of the time."

"Uhh, but shouldn't I stop her from lighting up the rocket pile?"

"What's a rocket, ze? Oh, those things." She looked at him, and grinned from ear to ear. "Let's get out of here while we can, ze."

"Eh? Uh oh, I don't like that look on your face—ack!" He was looking suspiciously at her when she jerked him by his collar and force him to sit on her broom. She got on, and WHOOSH! They were off again.

Cirno continued to ooh and ahh at the matches.

Marisa stopped the broom in midair, and teddy asked, "Why are we stopping?"

"Heeheehee…" Marisa laughed maliciously, and shot a laser towards the rocket pile.

Whoosh! A bunch of the rockets lit on fire.

Teddy stared at her with disbelief. "Did you just spell her doo—"

"Lalalala, I can't hear you, ze!" SWOOSH! Marisa's Magical Broom Express shot off again.

Teddy did a facepalm. Unfortunately, since he couldn't use his hand to facepalm, because he didn't want to drop again (safety precautions), he facepalmed on Marisa's shoulder.

"Eh? What are you doing, ze?"

"Facepalming. Don't do that again, please."

"I can't promise that, ze!~"

In the distance, they heard a lot of banging noises, and a shrill fairy voice screaming, "AAHHHH! EYE DON'T LIKE THIS!"

…

Cirno ran around like crazy in the midst of the colorful explosions of sparks and light. "HELP! DAI! HELP ME!" She ran/tumbled away from the rocket pile.

"Oww. That was mean. Hmph," she thought. She, of course, didn't look at herself, and would've have seen that she wasn't injured in anyway. Except for her pride.

She waved her fist at the distant Broom Express. "Eye'm the strongest, and you've just got yourself another rival, Black-white and—"

"CIRNO-CHAN!" screamed a worried Daiyousei as she tackled Cirno. "Are you're okay?"

"Of course I'm okay. Eye'm the strongest, after all!"

Unknowing to the two, a pair of red eyes glowed from the snow, and a misty cloud started to drift towards them.

…

BWOOSH!

Two clouds of smoke drifted up into the sky.

WHAM! The Cirno statue fell.

…

"Huh? Where'd the Human Village go, ze?" Marisa was very confused. She saw the Human Village on her way to Reimu's shrine, but didn't see it this time around.

"Don't ask me. I have no idea," replied Teddy. He scanned the misty, frosted ground. A dark shape darted amongst the mist. He tugged Marisa's detached sleeve nervously, and whispered, "I saw something."

"Well, I saw something too, ze." She reached for her mini-hakkero. In front of her stood a misty figure.

"Uh, why isn't there any weather of any kind right now? There's frost on the ground, but I don't see any—"

"Teddy," whispered Marisa in a serious, deadpan voice. "Hide behind that rock over there, to your left."

Teddy could tell that it was no laughing matter right then and there. If Marisa suddenly abandoned her bright, carefree voice, then something must be off.

"Ma'am, yes Ma'am," he whispered back and stealthily crept on his tennis shoes across the crunchy, frozen crystals littering the ground. "Well, that sure wasn't stealthy."

"Well, we haven't met yet, ze. Who are you?" asked Marisa in her cheerful voice once again, but Teddy could tell that there was some nervousness hidden under it.

THA-DUMP!

"Gack! My head!" groaned Teddy. A skull-splitting headache just appeared. He felt as if somebody was pounding on his head with a hammer and adding dull shocks of electricity. Worst yet, he felt that the rest of his body was numb, and that his vision started to swim with chains. "Chains? OW!" he wondered to himself before a large, slow snowball _with_ a hidden rock in it smacked into his head, giving him a concussion. He tumbled onto the spiky, permafrost ground, and a gash the length of a thumb opened on the back of his head.

THUD!

Marisa's cold, unmoving body, encased in a swirling cloud of mist, or rather sharp, crystallized water fragments that spun around her, slid onto the ground next to Teddy.

*tak, tak, tak* The mini-hakkero skidded across the ice.

The misty figures walked around the two, and promptly left.

*Ka-chak!* Teddy, despite his vision swimming with strange, different-colored and shaped chains, managed to take out his rocket canister and loaded it. He pointed it into the air, and fired off a flare rocket.

*Psssssssttt… ZWOOSH!* The rocket flew off.

*Clank* The rocket canister fell out of Teddy's hands and rolled away.

"M...Mari…sa…d-damn, th-this won't d-do," he muttered, and tried crawling towards the downed witch. Unfortunately, he blacked out before he reached her.

…

"Whoa… so many chains," Teddy thought to himself. He was now in the middle of a giant void of emptiness. Everywhere was dark and filled with shadows, yet seemed to be illuminated. A bright-blue chain hurtled past seemingly dragged by with a rectangular box attached to its front end, along with another chain that had golden wing ornaments attached to certain links. He turned around.

SCREECH!

"Ow," he muttered to himself, and winced at the sounds of metal on metal. Blood started dripping out of his… ears? He looked at the source of this painfully-annoying sound, and saw a shackle that was floating next to him. It wasn't moving.

This particular chain piqued his interest. It had a glass orb in its center, and the glass orb held a bright spark of light, surrounded by darkness. The spark of light continuously jumped around inside orb, as if it was an energetic, living creature. Yet he saw it slowly slow down, and looked at the rest of the chain. The links of the chain was painfully twisted, scratched, gashed. The links at the end looked very worn out, as if a cat with very sharp claws started tearing into the links themselves, instead of string. Other links were deformed, lumps poking out here and there, spikes grating against spikes. The entirety of the chain was covered with a light-blue frost, and as he watched, the metal started to grow cold-blue, as if being chilled to a low temperature. He was afraid if it would shatter into millions of tiny bits if he touched it. He saw that one link was very damaged. It was connecting the orb to the other links by only a little shred of metal, a delicate wire. As he watched, the wire continued to get thinner and thinner.

"I should do at least _something_ to stop this chain from breaking," he thought to himself. He wondered how on earth, even though there was no earth here, he was supposed to fix it. He stared at the chain, and imagined it slowly piecing itself back together. He imagined tiny metal shards growing out of nowhere in the thin air, flying to the torn segments, becoming part of the chain again. He imagined the icy-blue of the surface glowing red, and then orange. He imagined and imagined and imagined.

FLASH!

"Huh?" He looked at the resulting flash of light that appeared in front of him. Many tiny fragments of light began to coalesce into a rectangular, flat… card? The card glowed, and disappeared, bringing this void down into shadows. The chains disappeared, and he saw his vision grow darker and darker.

…

*Kick*

"Did you see something, Shanghai?"

* * *

><p><em>Touhou and its characters belong to ZUN. Teddy belongs to me. Bottle rockets, rocket cylinder, and the backpack belongs to the bag of tech I have on hand.<em>


	4. Chapter 4

_Chapter four of this series._

* * *

><p>*Snip, snip, snip*<p>

Marisa woke up to the sounds of Alice cutting cloth with a pair of scissors.

"Da~, ze, what happened to me? I feel like…"

"Crap?"

"Nope, you got it wrong, ze. I feel as if somebody gave me a shot of energy."

Alice remembered the human that was lying next to her in that icy wasteland that used to be a clearing near the Forest of Magic. She was suspicious of him. Well, what else do you expect from a strategist thinker who may be misguided in her thought train? She had thought of ending his life right there and then with a doll-propelled lance to the head, but his humanity and the fact that he was accompanying Marisa, as well as a vague voice in her mind telling her not to and Shanghai pulling on her sleeve, prompted her not to. Maybe it's the weather that's making me think like this, pondered Alice. After all, it had been whirling twisters outside her door for the past two days at the beginning of each single hour.

"Huh, I wonder what or who did that." She continued to cut the cloth that she was using to repair Marisa's torn miko outfit. "Oh, and why are you wearing Reimu's clothes?"

"Long story, ze. Maybe you can follow me back to old buddy-buddy Reimu's shrine so I can tell the full story. Oh, and where did Teddy go?"

Alice looked confused. "Teddy? Who's Teddy?" she mused to herself.

Marisa stared at Alice's face. "Uh, what did you do to him?"

"I didn't do anything to… wait, is Teddy a human?"

"Da~, ze, isn't it obvious? Now where is he? I remember telling him to hide behind a rock 'cuz there was this weird misty thingy in front of me…"

"'Weird misty thingy'? Did it look slightly humanoid?"

"Yeah, ze. Didja see it?"

"Oh. I encountered Mokou. Apparently, she was tracking down these misty figures, and toasting them whenever she could. Apparently, they keep on sapping the life from the trees."

"Does that mean Mokou burnt it?"

"Well, "dissipate", as she said, though I wonder how a possible youkai, or creature for that matter, could end up beating you so easily yet get destroyed by a simple flame burst."

"Beats me, ze. Well, Imma go look for him now."

"Umm, you shouldn't be walking around with the condition you are in, should you? You could've gotten a frost bi—"

"Aww, a frost bite is nothing. Hmm, you should really come with me to the shrine. Seems as if those misty figures might be everywhere, if Mokou did get rid of a lot of them…"

"Don't get that uppity just yet, Marisa. I'm still repairing those clothes, you now, unless you want to walk out in the windy twisters in khaki shorts and a thin, blue T-shirt…"

"How long must I stay in this bed?" complained Marisa, clearly distraught that she couldn't go walking around. She looked around Alice's home, and saw a lot of dolls around. She even saw a Marisa doll holding hands with an Alice doll. "Creepy, ze," she muttered to Alice.

"Hm? Did I do something wrong with the layout of my home?"

"Naa, forget that I said anything. But what did Mokou do with Teddy?"

"She does what she would usually do with any injured human. Deposit them at Eientei."

SNIP, SNIP, SNIP

…

…

…

SNIP, SNIP, SNIP

…

…

…

SNIP, SNIP, SNIP

Marisa sighed. "Are you done yet, ze? I'm tired of waiting in this bed, being hyper as I am."

"Be patient Marisa. Patience is something that you aren't _that_ good at. You often rush into things without looking ahead."

"Aw, come on Alice, you aren't good at taking initiative sometimes. And why don't you teach yourself some close-quarter combat and melee moves with that book of yours while you're at it, ze?"

POP!

"You dare…" Alice was smiling. Angrily. With a popping vein on her forhead. She dropped the clothes she was repairing.

CLANK! She smashed the scissors against the table.

"Whoa, Alice…" Marisa shrunk back into her, *ahem Alice's* bed.

"I bring you into my house with the goodness in my heart, and you start lecturing me on my battle skills?" Alice had a creepy pedophilic smile on her face. She seemed to be now grinning at the pile of being-repaired clothing on the floor.

"Aw, cra…" was what Marisa managed to say as Alice roughly grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the bed.

"Marisa, I'm going to force you to walk in this cold weather without anything but the khaki shorts and blue T-shirt that Yukari dropped off here a while ago. She said that she was emptying her house of some random stuff, and she gave me the names of these strange articles of clothing." She heaved a complaining Marisa wearing a light blue shirt that had the Aeropostale logo on its front and rather short pair of shorts.

"Eh? How am I wearing these stuff?"

*Creak* Alice grabbed the door and opened it. "And here's your mini-hakkero, broom, flip-flops, and hat. Now get out, and come back after an hour, if you're so bored."

"Hey! This is no fair, ze! I—"

*SLAM!*

"Aww. Brrrrrr. It's cold out here." Marisa shivered in her new, Outsider clothing, and was left holding in a neat bundle her hat, hakkero, and broom, while her flip-flops were obviously on her feet. "Better go find Teddy, ze.

* * *

><p>"Did I really just do that?" wondered Alice to herself as she leaned her back against the door.<p>

Shanghai drifted over to her and nodded her head.

Alice turned to stare at the doll pair that she set in plain view. "Ugh, I guess I'm getting depressed. Better get Marisa. I hope she hadn't done anything stupid yet." She turned around and opened the door. Nothing but dusty tracks was outside, meaning that Marisa must have left already.

"Argh! If that witch gets herself into trouble in this weather… no. I must follow her! Shanghai, follow me!"

Shanghai nodded, and flew after Alice while carrying a travel bag of doll repair items. Namely a sewing kit.

Inside, the slightly-torn, slightly-repaired miko clothing lay on the floor.

* * *

><p>FLASH! A bright danmaku light globe floated over an operating table.<p>

"Hold him still so I can extract the spike."

*SQUICK*

"Uh, Eirin-sama? You pulled it out before I was able to hold him down."

"Your fault for not obeying my directions, Udongein. This means you'll get an extra experimentation period."

"But Eirin-sama—"

"Hahaha, Reisen, you brought this on yourself, so deal with it, usa!"

The three occupants of Eientei, excluding Kaguya, of course, were leaning over an operating tabler that held a protesting, gagged Teddy.

"MMPHHH! MMMPPPHHH!" which translated roughly to "Let me go! Let me go, ya crazy doctor!" Teddy was struggling under the leather straps on the operating table. It looked more like a lethal-injection style person holder than an operating table. Other, similar tables were nearby, as well as cleanly-blanketed beds right outside the room. The blue-and-red clothed surgeon from the moon and the business rabbit were standing on both sides of the table. Tewi was hopping around the equipment cart. All of the new equipment came from the Outside world, but came from a box that was labeled "Fresh Supplies" and dropped there by Yukari.

"He sounds a bit too disruptive, don't you think, Tewi? Should we euthanize him?"

Teddy struggled even more.

"I don't think so, Eirin-sama. We're supposed to heal him, not kill him. Apparently, Mokou thinks that he has something to do with these misty beings that she was tracking." She grabbed a solar-powered system shocker. "I'll just zap him here-"

Teddy squirmed as the two tips of the system shocker came close to his throat.

ZAP!

Teddy stopped his attempts to talk. His eyes started glazed over and started rolling wildly in his eye sockets.

"-and we're done with the talking! Uh, oops."

"You just endangered our patient's state of being, Tewi. Try not to do that next time."

"Yes, Eirin-sama."

"But, if Tewi almost killed him, why does she get off easier than-"

"Stop complaining, Udongein."

Reisen stomped her foot in frustration, and stomped the operating table lifter button, which Tewi discretely slipped over.

VRRRRR!

BASH!

The table skyrocket up. The projecting arm holders gave both Reisen and Eirin a wooden-board style uppercut.

WHAM!

Eirin, who wasn't paying attention at the time and was bent over to inspect the large shard hole in the middle of Teddy's chest, got the most damage. She was sent reeling backwards by the impact, and her hat fell off. She tumbled backwards onto the floor, tipping the equipment cart (which was moved over by the resident prankster), causing bloody scalpels and shards to fly into the air. And as things fly into the air, gravity takes effect.

SHINK! SHINK! SHINK SHINK SHINK!

A multitude of blades stabbed the floor and almost sliced Eirin. Tewi made sure this wouldn't happen by bestowing her some good luck. Just for that moment.

Eirin, now sprawled out on the floor, put her hand onto her forehead. "Owww…" She removed her hand, and looked around, and spotted the glimmering scalpel blades glittering with a steely blue light besides her.

"Reiseeeeeeennnnnn…" was all she managed in a menacing voice dripping with restrained frustration, and reverted back to Reisen's first name.

Reisen, on the other hand, was resting her back on the other closest operations table. Her head had whacked into a small anvil, and she was now unconscious.

"Not my fault, usa." Tewi adopted a face of pure innocence.

"I know that, Tewi." Eirin responded. She got up, and asked Tewi to pick up the shards and scalpels. Tewi oblidged.

"Udongein, I'm going to inject you with soooo many experiments that by the time I'm done with you you'll look like a pincushion!" Eirin angrily vowed to the unconscious moon rabbit. She heard twitching sounds from the patient, and dropped the tone of voice to a more concerned voice. "Tewi, get the type-235 medicinal extract, please."

"Hear ya go, usa."

Eirin took the shiny gold bottle of some strange, blackish shape-shifting (not form-shifting, just moving into different visual shapes, all still same colored) liquid and uncorked it. She tipped the bottle and spilled some into a teaspoon. She then tipped the teaspoon's contents onto the wounds on Teddy's chest and head. The black stuff began to cover the exposed flesh, and the sounds of a knife patting a piece of meat were heard. Slowly, but surely, the wounds began to grow smaller and smaller. It seems as if the flesh was inching and growing slowly to close the wounds.

"Okay, operation number one of the day has been done," announced Eirin as she wiped her hands with a clean Shamwow cloth.

"That… was quite painful to watch."

"Oh, you're still here, Mokou? Aren't you afraid that Kaguya might come in here at any moment and blast you out of the window with one of her artifacts?"

"Hahaha, very funny. DO YOU THINK THAT THAT ROYAL ***** WILL HAVE ANY CHANCE AGAINST ME?"

"Calm down, Mokou. Or do I have to inject you with a shot of tranquilizer, or whatever this thing is called?" complained Eirin as she waved a hypodermic needle filled with clear elephant tranquilizer around.

"Guh. What happened? Where am I? Why do I hear the word 'tranquilizer'? Who's gonna stab who? Whadawah?"

"Shush, mister. You're a patient, and you need to rest."

"How am I supposed to rest if all I hear is shouting about some royal ***** and tranq's?" complained Teddy.

"Don't insult Kaguya-sama. You'll certainly die if you do, ya know."

"So? If I die, then I die."

Eirin interrupted, "My my, so my patient wants to die after what I did in this surgery? Such an ungracious human!"

"How am I supposed to be gracious if I'm tied down to this table as if I'm on death row?"

"Uhh, what's death row, usa?"

"Don't ask," muttered Teddy. "And who are you?"

_Swish_

"Mokou." A expressionless voice spoke out from the doorway. "What are you doing here in my residence?" Kaguya, the exiled princess from the moon was standing at the doorway and was holding a stone bowl filled with water, as well as wearing a fur blanket to cover from the frost outside the mansion.

"Kaguya." A seething voice was uttered from the fiery immortal.

"Uhh… patient in the crossfire?" bleated an innocent Teddy. Then, in a smaller voice, "Don't kill me."

"Huh, and I thought that you didn't care whether you died or not."

"Well, excuse me for having priorities on my mind! And being cannon fodder for these two, the royal ***** and whoever-the-white-haired-tomboy-is, while being mounted like a sheep cut out for a sacrificial ritual isn't my kind of priority!"

"What did you call me?" both Mokou and Kaguya intoned simultaneously, glaring at the puny human that was strapped onto the table.

VWOOSH!

Mokou lit up in flames.

Vwish!

Kaguya's impossible requests started floating around in a circle.

Tewi looked at the two ticked-off immortals, and then looked back at Teddy.

"Oh boy, do I really feel sorry for you, usa. You're screwed. A human against two immortals? No contest. Even with good luck, you'll probably never make the first few seconds of the fight. Especially with you stuck in the operating table like that."

"Oh, great. Two immortals. Just because I don't know what their names are. Now where's my backpack?" Teddy struggled to turn his head around. He saw his backpack in Kaguya's hands.

"You mean this thing? I think I'll make it a trophy."

"No, I wanna burn it!"

"No, trophy!"

"Burn!"

"TROPHY!"

"BURN!"

"YOU'RE ON!"

*Double Thwack*

*Beep, beep, beep* Two dark-shaped orbs about the size of tennis balls dropped out of an unzipped pocket of the backpack. They started faintly glowing, and some of Mokou's fire started being leeched off to go into the orbs.

The two immortals were too caught up in their argument to notice the primed Siphon charges at their feet.

"Take this, royal -!"

The two began to tousle at each other, now doing hand to hand combat instead of the regular spellcard duel.

THWACK!

Clink, clink, clink. Something hard fell onto the metal floor of the operation room.

"Hey, that's my tooth!"

Schurrschhh.

Plip, plip, plip, plop!

"How long must they continue fighting here?" complained Teddy.

"You're fault, you know. We operate on you out of the goodness of our hearts, and this is how you repay us?"

"You mean out of the goodness of your Socratic oath. And your desire for medical bills."

"What? Are you saying that I'm greedy?"

"I'm just saying from experience." Teddy closed his eyes and sighed, consigning himself to the inevitable.

CHOMP!

"HEY! MOKOU! THAT'S MY EAR!"

"MMRRRPPPHHHH!" Mokou grunted as she ripped Kaguya's ear off with her teeth, and then incinerated it using flames. She spat the ashes out onto her palm, and soon had Kaguya in an armlock.

"Ohhhh, Hime-Samaaaaaa~! I got one tasty dish that I know you would likeeee~!" Thus saying, she stuffed the burnt remnants of Kaguya's ear into the latter's mouth.

Kaguya's face widened in shock.

*Gasp choke choke gasp cough* Kaguya managed to smack Mokou in the mouth by her stone bowl of Buddha, and backed away to recover from the ashes in her lungs.

Ting, ting ting ting. Teeth rained out from Mokou's mouth. Kaguya quickly caught some, then proceeded to do the same thing to Mokou. Instead of fine ashes, though, Mokou would have her own teeth lodged in her pharynx and esophagus.

"RARRRGGGGHHHHHH!" half-choked, half-roared Mokou in rage.

VWOOSH! Blue flames danced around her. And she adopted, err, plagiarized a move from football. She ran leaning forward with her right shoulder aimed towards Kaguya for a tackle. She, while running towards the moon princess, accelerated in a flaming torpedo launch.

CCCCRRRUUUNNNCCHH!

The sounds of bones breaking, the splintering of wooden planks, the battering down of plants outside, and other, battle-like noises were heard.

SLUCK-SHUNK!

"That must be owchies for them, usa. They must have speared themselves on my bamboo trap." Tewi then happily ran off to do something, most likely prep some other traps for later.

"Uhh, I'll be leaving now?" asked an amazed Teddy. He was virtually untouched.

"You're not going anywhere until I get my due, mister," said a cold, malicious voice.

"Uh oh," Teddy thought to himself. "That does not sound good." He turned his head to face Eirin. She had a grin plastered on her face, and he could see her shiny, white teeth/fangs bared in a smile that would dazzle even the most smile-proof people.

Click, click, click.

The Siphon charges sprouted four metallic legs apiece and started half-climbing, half-striding their way out of the broken plaster-and-wood wall to the two immortals still slugging at each other. Apparently, both have been impaled multiple times by bamboo rods, and the rods still stayed stuck in them. Not a good idea to continue fighting with stuff in your body. At least they still could stab each other.

STAB, DUNFF, CRSCH. The two continued to stab each other, leaving large, bloody holes. The two charges decided to get nearer.

Doink. The first of the charges poked Mokou. A bamboo rod charged with flames fell onto it.

Doink. The second of the charges poked Kaguya. It was promptly mashed into the stone bowl.

And the fight continued on and on and on, until there was nothing else to stab anymore. Eirin just stared out of the window, and sighed. "Another day, another day, another day, down to waste. How long must they fight each other? It seems rather childish right now. Yes, they do seem to be acting like children, arguing over the smallest petty things." She turned away from hole in the wall and placed her attention on Teddy. Who was still struggling to free himself from the operating table. She smiled, and pulled out a vial. It said, "Transformation potion."

Teddy just thought to himself while struggling, "Ah well. At least I got to see some action. Those two immortals do seem to hate each other, but more likely from some bickering from back then. Man, I just don't get why they don't just put their differences aside." He sighed, and closed his eyes.

Tha-dump!

"Here I go again," muttered Teddy to himself as chains began to reappear.

"Here we go!" sang a delighted Eirin as she tilted the vial and dripped a glassy blue liquid onto Teddy's forehead. She turned around, and produced another vial, and poured that self-developed potion onto Reisen. She then started carting the operation table into a dark guest room.

"Shame that I didn't get more of this so-called 'Transformation potion'." Eirin recalled the simple wooden stand just outside the human village. It had some strange table (urban steel contemporary table), along with vials and potions. A sign was mounted above the table. It read, "Jetless Corporations: Potions Branch numbah 21", and a masked man was manning the table.

_Flashback_

"Yes, miss?" a cheerful and gruff voice called out as Eirin and Reisen neared the table."

"Um, what kind of stuff does this stand sell?"

The man running the stand stared at her, and then said, "Experimental mixtures, as well as general-use regeneration potions." He flourished to Eirin, and pointed at the experiments section. "I can tell that you create your own experiments, don't you? And that you like using them on your… lab youkai?"

"Hmm," thought Eirin to herself. She eyed the glittery blue vial.

"Uh oh." Reisen already knew about what Eirin was going to do. She was going buy one and possibly use it on her. She stepped a good distance away from the contemplating surgeon.

"Okay, I'll buy that nice-looking liquid over there." Eirin pointed to the afore-mentioned blue vial. The man lifted the vial up via telekinesis, and made it float over to her.

"Here you go. You can have it for free."

"Thank you." Eirin took the vial, bowed, and walked over to where Reisen was at. The inaba backed away fearfully.

"Don't worry, Udongein. I'm not going to use it on you. I only use my experiments on you."

The two walked away. The masked man sat down, and stared into deep space, imagining some other job than manning this stand.

_End of flashback_

"Well, I guess I'll just check in on him tomorrow, to see what has happened."

She strode into the operation room, and stopped. Marisa was leaning against the wall, grinning and waving.

"Uh, Marisa, what are you doing here?"

"Oh, I've come to check up on Teddy. Where is he?"

Eirin couldn't help but look at the clothes that the witch was wearing.

"What the heck are you wearing, Marisa?"

"Oh, stuff that I got from Alice, ze." Eirin could see a lump stuffed in Marisa's khaki shorts' pocket. She was also wearing Teddy's backpack.

"What did you take?"

"Nothing of your concern," Marisa shot back. She then said, "Shouldn't you pull those two immortals back in here? It seems as if someone, or something, has drained their energy."

*Sigh.* Eirin turned around and shouted into the hallways. "TEWI! GET HERE RIGHT THIS INSTANT!"

A couple seconds elapsed before Tewi came hopping back with a garden trowel and barbed wire. "Yes Eirin-sama?" she asked.

"Guard this kleptomaniac for me, will you? Make sure she doesn't steal anything. I'll be going to pick up Kaguya. Keine should already have grabbed Mokou." She cautiously stepped over the splintered wood, and ran towards the bloody bamboo wall that had instestines stringed onto it, as well as a liver, stomach, and a heart spiked on the tops of several shoots. A tongue was wallowing in gastric acid and bile, which was in Kaguya's stone bowl. Eirin stooped to pick up the bowl and emptied its contents into the dirt. She then grabbed the half-dissected Kaguya, whose kimono had a lot of rips and shreds of clothing were scattered everywhere, and pulled her in like a leg of mutton back into Eientei. Without respect. She whispered to the frozen breeze, "When will they ever grow up?" The frozen breeze responded by slapping her face with a thousand icy pins. "Guh, better get back inside before I freeze. And to think that Marisa came here in that skimpy outfit…" She stepped back inside into the relative safety of the mansion.

…

Plop, plop, plop.

A misty form was hunched over the intestines, organs, and flesh. The flesh gradually began to disappear into a regular cloth bag. After the flesh was gathered, the misty creature threw the bag into the air. A frozen wind picked it up and began carrying it away to darkness on the horizons.

* * *

><p><em>Touhou and its characters belong to ZUN. Teddy belongs to my cast. Jetless Corporations belongs to Jet Less, who is part of my cast. The backpack and its oddities belong to my bag of tricks. Comments and Reviews, plz! And here's some fresh cookies! (Please tell me what you think is going to happen to Teddy. Would be nice if I could hear each of you readers' thoughts! Oh wait, I'm not Satori, so I can't. No, i do not want to be Satori. I don't want to listen to every single thought. Uh, don't murder me Satori?)<em>


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**: Experimental What? Oh dear, such problems.

* * *

><p><strong>Clunk<strong>

Banging noises were heard as Marisa scooted a table into place next to an empty, wooden table, most likely to stop her from stealing, or "borrowing," as she would say.

"So, Marisa, what brings you to our humble clinic? Have you come here for an appointment?"

"Naa, ze. I heard that a human was being held here for surgery."

"Just a human? You came all the way here in that inadequate outfit of yours," complained Eirin as she waved to Marisa's thin shirt and shorts, "to see a human?"

Marisa's answer, of course, was disappointing. "Yesh, ze."

Tewi rolled her eyes at the ceiling, Reisen coughed, and Eirin frowned. "What's so exciting about a human, Marisa?" asked Eirin.

"Ah hem, me n' Reimu are both humans, ze."

"Oh, right. You two caused quite some damages in this mansion quite a while ago. Well, you can see him later."

"As if later was a choice, ze. I'm going see him now." She barged past Eirin, and stared down the really long hallway of doors. A rabbit scampered here and there.

"And where exactly do you think you're gonna find him, usa?"

Marisa strode up to Tewi, and grabbed her by the frilly collar of her dress. "You are."

"How do you suppose I'm not gonna show you the way into a trap, usa?"

"'Cause I'm going to force you to walk forward mounted on a five-foot pole that I borrowed from the closet, ze. So, if you do lead me to a trap, you're the one who's going to be the victim."

Tewi attempted to keep a smile off of her face. Of course she was going to use the manually-triggered traps!

"Aaaand, I can read your face, ze." She then prodded Tewi with her broomstick, which had a coating of glue on it. Tewi tried to pull away, but was stuck by Marisa's magical glue of doom. Er, well, superglue. Or, you can just say a paste made of roots and water, and enchanted in a cauldron with a mushroom. Marisa then held her mini-hakkero with the other hand. "Try it and I'll spark you outta this mansion. Now, where is Teddy held?" The pair walked away.

Eirin grabbed a clipboard, and created a patient's profile. "Lessee, name is possibly Teddy. Species: Human. Hair color: black. Build: medium. Height: around the same height as Reimu… Bills owed: two experimentation applications. Reisen, put this into the files."

Reisen bowed. "Yes, Eirin-sama." She took the files and put it into a safe. She muttered to herself, "If Marisa sparks this mansion, I'm going to have to clean up all this collateral damage. Meh." She grudgingly resigned herself to her fate.

…

"Ow." Teddy woke up to be lying down on the floor. His voice sounded unfamiliar in his head, as if it was higher-pitched. He closed his eyes, and started thinking. "Okay, now time to recap what has happened to me. Bones, check. Muscles, check. Sanity, check. Height… that's a negative. Oh wow, why am I kinda short?" He stood up, opened his eyes, and measured his height against the 5-foot high lethal-injection body holder. "Eh, looks like my height is now around… three-and-a-half feet. Not good, not good. Now how am I supposed see what's on the tables, huh?"

**Click**

Teddy instantly hid in the shadows behind the door as it opened.

"Huh, this room looks empty to me, ze. Are you sure you're not pulling one of your tricks, Tewi?"

"I swear I'm not! Look, there's that body holder thingy." She pointed at the Outsider death equipment.

"Hmm," thought Marisa to herself. "Should I spark her? Yeah, I'll do a medium-sized spark." She held the broom out in front of her.

"Don't tell me that you're gonna…"

BZZZAAAPPP! A laser with the diameter of a big-sized yoga ball lanced out at the rabbit stuck on the broomtip.

CRASH!

Sizzle…

"OW! WHO OPENED THE WINDOW CURTAINS, HUH? Oh wait, there's a hole in my… wall…"

Tewi managed to use her luck ability to cause the spark to form a Tewi-sized hole in its center. "Well, that's Kaguya-sama. Good luck fighting her."

WHOOSH! Kaguya came flying out of the holes in the walls, with her five impossible requests floating around her.

"Bad idea, Kaguya," stated Marisa as she snagged all five.

"GIVE THOSE BACK! Eh? Aww, how cute…" Just a second ago, she had a rage face on. Veins were popping on her forehead, and her eyes looked bloodshot. Now, she had… pedophilic face with a drooling mouth, her eyes fixated on the now-kid Teddy. He had a puppy-dog face on, as if he's innocent.

"Huh? What are you staring at, ze?" Marisa swirled around, and stared at Teddy. "Pffftt. AH HAHAHAHAHA!"

"Well, well, looks like that experiment that Eirin-sama put on you turned you into a kid."

"Urgh," groaned Teddy.

"Marisa, get your filthy hands off my requests."

"Go to hell, ze!"

"No cursing in front of kids, usa. You two are bad influences!"

The two shot back, "And you aren't?"

"Well, umm…"

KLONK! BASH! SMASH!

"STOP TALKING ABOUT ME LIKE I'M SOME LITTLE BOY!"

The three stopped to rub their heads.

"That's better."

"Little boy, come here! You're so cuuute, I wanna hold you forever!" yelled Kaguya as she glomped Teddy in an undignified manner.

"No! He's mine to hold!" shouted Marisa. She grabbed hold of Teddy's arm, and attempted to pull him away. This resulted in a tug-of-war, in which Kaguya and Marisa were pulling on Teddy's arms. And Tewi was narrating it.

"Oooh, look! Kaguya-sama is losing ground to Marisa! Oh, and counter pull! Kaguya yanked so hard that Marisa was almost caught off balance!"

"So this is what happens if they see a cute kid? A sudden pedophilic change of mood?" wondered Teddy to himself.

"Why don't you take back your Impossible Requests while I take the kid?" Marisa quickly tossed the Requests back at Kaguya.

"No, why don't you take a stone bowl to the face while I take the kid?" Kaguya shot back, and sent her stone bowl of Buddha back into Marisa's face.

BONK!

Marisa was sent careening back, her hands loosened on Teddy's arm.

YANK!

Kaguya pulled kiddy Teddy away and hugged him to herself.

"*cough cough gasp* I can't breathe *cough cough*"

"Oh, you can't? I'm so sorry!" Kaguya lessened her hold on Teddy. Tewi pulled on her sleeve. "Why did you suddenly become so excited, hime-sama?"

"Huh?" Kaguya had a high, drunken look on her face. Tewi took out a cloth and wiped the saliva from the princess's cheek.

"Whyohwhyohwhy…" muttered Teddy to himself. Kaguya started stroking his hair.

"Aww, sooo soft…" Kaguya smiled, and buried her face into Teddy's hair.

"OHMYGODOHMYGOD! SOMEBODY FREE ME FROM THIS CRAZY IMMORTAL BOY-LOVER!"

"Kaguya-sama."

"Mmmhhmmmpphhh…"

"I said, Kaguya-sama."

"Mmmm, his hair smells so nice…"

"KAGUYA-SAMA! SNAP THE HELL OUT OF IT!"

"Huh?" Kaguya smiled sleepily in Eirin's frowning face.

"Mokou is outside."

"She is? Let her inside, please."

"What is wrong with you?"

*Snap click snap*

"Oooh, this will really make a great scoop for the Bunbunmaru newspaper! The moon princess of Eientei is cuddling a cute human boy!"

"This is not helping the situation, Aya. And what are you doing here, anyways?"

"I noticed a large, burning hole in the mansion's rooftop. I decided to investigate. Looks like our princess has a soft spot." Aya pointed to Kaguya, who was now snuggling on the floor with kiddy Teddy, and her fire rat cloak was covering her.

K-chak, k-chak, k-chak.

"Well, this is certainly the first time I've seen her do that ever since I first saw her," commented Eirin. Teddy looked disgusted, apparently not liking the fact that somebody is cuddling him.

"Maybe you should tell her that he's actually sixteen-years old, ze."

"Naaa. She's sleeping right now, so I don't think that it will be a good idea to wake her up, unless you want a blood-shot sleep-deprived zombie immortal reaching for you."

"Right. I need to get Teddy out of here."

"Why?"

"Well, I was supposed to bring him along with me to the Human Village to buy stuff for Reimu, but we ended up being waylaid. We were attacked—"

"Attacked? By whom?"

"Things that Mokou was hunting, ze."

"What things?"

"Umm, misty things."

"Not just misty things, witch."

The others, excluding Kaguya, who was asleep, and Teddy, who unfortunately couldn't turn his head, turned to face the door.

"I noticed some smoke rising, and I wondered whether I could ambush her," she pointed at Kaguya," but this. Is. More. Valuable. Then. Killing her right now. Wheee! I never knew that she could be such a sucker!" Mokou was unnaturally happy.

"When did you get so happy, Mokou?" asked Eirin.

"Oh, just to warn you, I noticed a large amount of MP's congregating outside. Apparently, they seemed to be summoned—"

"MP's?"

"That's what I named them. They can drain energy from people, just like the sparkly snow that's outside."

"Right. That snow. And I thought that those weird dark balls from Teddy's backpack drained you two of your energy."

"Hah! Those things can't do squat!"

Fshhhhhh…

A misty cloud started leaking in.

"Well, time to brace yourselves for a battle," muttered Mokou.

The misty form started bunching up, and a humanoid form was created. The mist dissipated to form a tall, dark creature with six glowing eyes, dark skin, ripped patches of skin that exposed muscles, and dark claws. What happened next surprised them.

"Yo, what's going on?"

"…"

"C'mon, say something!"

Eirin pointed at it with a syringe. "What are you, and what is your purpose?"

"Me? Oh, I'm just a… uh… what was I called again?" It blinked, and reached into a dark, misty cloud that orbited it. It pulled out a three-pair glasses and a book. "I'm sorry, I'm kind of blind, so don't ask. Also, please refrain from commenting on whether these glasses ruin my appearance or not." The book was aptly labeled "All species of youkai and monsters (Constantly Updated)". "Oh right, I can't find the stupid page. Anyways, I'm a messenger. I came to ask for something."

"What is it?" demanded Eirin. "Our lives?"

It quickly shook its head. "No, no, not lives. My master needs one dozen eggs."

"Eggs?" They stared, shocked, at it, mouths gaped open.

"Eggs." It nodded its head in confirmation.

"What? Just eggs? But Mokou said that there's an army of MG's—"

It barked, which vaguely resembled a laugh, and started coughing. "Well, you better ready yourselves for a fight."

Marisa instantly aimed her hakkero at it. "Then bring it on, zombie-thingy!"

It stared at her with those six glowing eyes, amusement shimmering from the reflective surfaces. "I was referring to the MG's. Did I even say that I was a part of those MG's, whatever the person named Mokou termed them—"

"You aren't?"

"Nope."

"Then do you know who's causing this sparkly snow?" asked Mokou.

"My master and somebody else. The other person doesn't know that he or she is doing it, though. Think of the person as an unwilling participant."

"Ah hah! Then we must kill you."

"You can do that _after_ I get the dozen eggs."

"No, you should die right now."

"After I get the eggs."

"Eggs later, kill now."

"Then how am I supposed to deliver the eggs, smart one?"

Eirin sighed, and wave Mokou to shut her mouth. "If you take the eggs, will you leave us?"

"Yes."

Eirin turned to Reisen. "Please go get a dozen eggs for our, ahem, 'guest'."

Reisen quickly scampered off, darted around the corner, and made for the kitchen. The 'guest' just stood there, whistling "Green Sleeves." It's undulating glowing eyes seemed to be twinkling in happiness and mirth.

Tewi whispered to Eirin, "Why is it so happy?"

"No idea."

"I got the eggs—eep!" Reisen came rushing in but tripped over a tripwire that was previously set a few months ago. The rabbit came tumbling down, a horrified look on her face as the carton of a dozen eggs was sent flying. The 'guest' noticed, and somehow caught the carton with those claws of its.

"Hmmm… grade AA eggs, not bad. I'll be going now," it said as it started dissolving into mist. "Now I gotta make some scrambled eggs… I wonder who has milk?"

They stared as the culinary cloud started drifting in the direction of the Human Village, presumably to as somebody who lives there for some milk.

"Milk? Isn't Keine a cow, usa?"

Mokou punched her with a quick jab to the face. "Don't speak rudely of Keine-chan, little rabbit."

"No, really. Doesn't she kinda look like a cow when the full moon's out?"

THWACK!

"OW! Hey, that hurt!"

Mokou had taken Marisa's brook and jabbed her solidly with the point.

* * *

><p>Thud.<p>

A wooden donation box came tumbling on the ground as Reimu carelessly tossed it away.

"Meh, that's the twenty-fifth time that I checked my box this hour." She then mentally slapped herself. "Argh! I shouldn't be tossing my box like that! That makes me less good than Marisa when she destroys it by her so-called collateral damage! Speaking of Marisa," she thought to herself, "where is she now? Meh. I don't want to go anywhere today. I have a yard to sweep, tea to boil, and nothing to do." She had kicked off her footwear, and stared at the dark splotch that had appeared on her right foot. "I wonder where did this come from?"

Tmp tmp tmp. Somebody was tapping on the shrine door. Not that there was a door to begin with.

"Ooh, a visitor!" She quickly grabbed two pairs of socks and put them on, for she doesn't want people to see that dark splotch. She also grabbed her trusty gohei, and quickly turned around.

"Hello, miss, do you have a cup of tea leaves that I can borrow? Or perhaps a dozen buns?"

Reimu instantly went into a defensive pose at the perhaps threatening sight of a dark youkai mentioned from before, charms sticking out of her hand.

"Who are you, and what business do you have here?"

It attempted to roll its glowing eyes of its, but ended up failing.

"I repeat: who are you, and what business do you have here?"

"I'm sure you didn't hear me from before. I already stated my business."

Reimu blinked, confused. "Were you asking about borrowing a cup of tea leaves or a dozen buns?"

"Thank you very much, captain obvious. What did you think I was going to do, reach for you and bite your head off? Oh wait, I don't have a mouth."

The miko glared defiantly at it, and shouted, "I don't have any buns or tea leaves to spare, because that stupid witch and that Teddy guy still didn't come back from the stupid Human Village!"

"Tsk, tsk, always relying on other people to do stuff for you. You're one lazy, naughty miko. Oh, and was the witch you're talking about have a broomstick? And does she wear a shirt that has 'Aeropostale' on it and khaki shorts?"

"No, she doesn't wear that. The last time I saw her, she was wearing my clothes. Speaking of that, she better not have destroyed them! They cost me a—"

"Day in the Human Village or a visit by Yukari?"

"—week creating them!"

The culinary creature thought to itself, "Weeeelll, she's not that lazy, I guess, if she has the motivation to sew her own clothes. Uuuuunlesssss, she did that years ago. Huh, maybe that's the case."

"You see, I often have to replace my clothes once every month. It's either I got caught in a fight, some pesky fairy burns them up for me, I sleep too long and my clothes get musty on the clothes line—"

"And why are you telling me this? Have you forgotten that I'm here to get tea leaves or a dozen buns, instead of being some friend whom you talk to to pass the time?"

Reimu tried jabbing the interrupting creature with her gohei, but then stopped. "Riiight, I don't know you. Now get out of here before I'm forced to kill you."

It blinked at her, then turned around while waving goodbye. It walked out of the shrine walls, and paused. It turned its head back towards her, and warned, "You better get that dark splotch on your foot treated. Who knows what it may do to you later on?" It continued walking away, then melted into mist. The mist cloud flew away.

"Strange." Reimu then yawned. "Maaan, I need to replace my clothes now. Hmm, where did I put that special needle that Yukari gave to me?" (That needle is enchanted to, when poked into a good-enough amount of cloth, fly and transform the cloth into clothing. Maybe Yukari's helping to increase Reimu's laziness!) She walked over to her donation box, set it where it was supposed to be, and walked back into her shrine.

BOOM! Her teapot, which incidentally had the last tea leaves of the day, exploded, sending shards everywhere.

Reimu licked the cut on her arm, and looked for her needle. "Eh. Better go make a new teapot as well."

Whoosh-crack!

It started raining teapots.

"…"

* * *

><p><em>Meanwhile, back in Bhava-Agra…<em>

"Eldest Daughter, Eldest Daughter, what are you up to now?"

"What are you talking about, Iku?" Tenshi hid her sword behind her back, feigning an innocent smile. Currently, she was on a form of parole, in which Iku forbiddened her from holding weapons of any kind for "accidentally" keystone-boarding into the oarfish's head while she was trying to get some papers, err, warnings, done. The result was a rather large inkpot tipping and spilling about a gallon of the dark writing stuff onto Iku's precious scarf thingy. They were currently in a jail-house somehow resting on a cloud. Outside, other celestials were peeping in, wondering what may happen.

Iku sighed. "We had reports about strange weather occurring. Apparently, people are deducing that you are once again causing it."

"I'm bored, Iku. Entertain me."

"Tenshi, I'm warning you, this is not the time for games."

Tenshi smiled again, this time for real. "Entertain me, Iku."

"No, I will not entertain you, Eldest Daughter."

"But you are right now!"

The oarfish glared at her.

"Fufufu, looks like somebody needs some motivation."

Iku turned to face Yukari. "What are you doing here, Yukari?" she asked as she snagged her parasol with her scarf.

Yukari frowned. "That's not nice, taking people's stuff like that. Oh right, you need some motivation to do something for Tenshi there." She pointed at Tenshi, who was now sitting on her bed with a straight face.

"Uh huh." An unknown voice belonging to someone else agreed.

"Uh oh, Yukari's up to something," thought Iku. "She's probably going to cause a problem here. Better get her out." She turned to look out of the jail window. But couldn't.

A man stepped out of the shadows of the corner of the room. How Iku couldn't see him, she wasn't sure. But anyways, he was holding a strange rectangular device in his right hand. It had a glass screen, buttons on it, and was made of metal. With an antenna.

"Who is that?" asked Tenshi to Yukari.

"You don't need to know. Well, not now, at least," said the mysterious man. "Think of me as Yukari's co-conspirator." He then tossed the device to Tenshi. "Catch."

Unfortunately, Tenshi had her sword behind her, so if she caught it, Iku would know that she had been violating her parole. So, instead of catching it with her hands, she caught it by using her legs, and quickly hid her sword.

Iku stared suspiciously at Tenshi. "Have you been violating your parole, miss?"

Tenshi grabbed the device and looked at it. It had a picture of the oarfish on its screen. Also, it had the words "Input Command" on it. She stared at it, fascinated by it. "Uh, what does this thing do?" she asked.

The mysterious man just replied, "Just type or say a command into it."

"Don't you dare, Eldest Daguhter."

The man then stated, "It's already put this oarfish on standby mode."

Tenshi looked at the screen, many thoughts streaming through her head. "Jump?"

Iku jumped. She frowned.

"Smile, Iku!"

Iku stopped frowning and smiled.

"Do a cartwheel?"

Iku did a cartwheel and smacked into the wall.

"Bang your head on the wall!"

Iku did.

"Hmm. Dance?"

Iku started dancing while yelling, "Stop that, Tenshi! I do NOT like this!"

"And I do not like you telling me what not to do, Iku, so it's mutual. We're both enemies!" she exclaimed, clapping her hands.

Beep. A robotic voice announced to the air, "Device has run out of batteries."

Whoosh! Iku instantly flew over to Tenshi and smacked her with her scarf, relieving her of the device in the process. She energized it with some electricity, because she had been reading a guide about electrical devices. The guide she purchased from Rinnosuke's shop for no apparent reason. She was bored.

"Input name." The picture now showed a blank shadow of somebody's head.

"Yukari." Iku then smiled.

Yukari, before Iku stated her name, was laughing. She wrongly guessed that the oarfish was going to say Tenshi's name. She looked surprised at Iku. "What?"

"Eh heh heh, your fault, Yukari, for not telling me to put your name on the 'input not accepted' list." The man smirked at the gap youkai.

"Now, Yukari," said Iku. Several weeks ago, she somehow caught an iPad with "Border of Ecstasy" playing on it, and watched the entire thing, "go—"

The man quickly stepped forward and took the device. "No naughty stuff, Iku, it's not nice. And, Yukari, stop thinking about me, please."

"Oh, sorry," apologized the gap youkai.

"And wipe off that drool."

Yukari obliged, and then frowned, "Wait. Argh, you're commanding me to do that with that device!" She quickly short-circuited it with her power, causing it to have no insulation boundaries.

BZZZZZZAAAPPP!

A million watts briefly fried the man. He said, "That's not very nice, Yukari," before crumbling into ashes.

"So, he's dead," said Iku. "Well, time to warn people about that device. I hope—"

"Not dead," interrupted Yukari.

FLASH! A flash of light appeared over the ashes.

"As I said, Yukari, that wasn't very nice. At least that electricity got rid of that curse, thankyouverymuch." Iku and Tenshi turned to look at the man. He no longer had that "wait, does he look like one of those bathroom people?' appearance. Instead, they saw a person who seems to have come from a dojo of some sorts, with some ninja elements integrated. He was wearing a dojo outfit that somehow also looked like a ninja uniform. Also, a logo was emblazoned on the top's front. It read, "Jetless Corporations: owner Jet Less". It was made of gold and platinum, and had a plating of acrylic. Or glass. Or whatever. Floating around him was three daggers with glowing blades. They unfortunately also saw, "The Elementalist's Experiment" potions floating around him as well.

"Do you mind?" he asked, and put away the daggers and experiment. "Please look away, before you crumble before my awesomeness."

They stared at his lame attempts at a joke.

"Well, time to go," he stated, before dropping a… outrageously large claymore mine. By now, Yukari had gapped away.

"What's that?" asked Tenshi.

"I have no idea, but it's screaming for us to run away."

Tenshi walked over to it and hugged it to herself.

POOF! The perhaps-evil co-conspirator of Yukari's teleported away in a puff of smoke.

Beep, beep, beep, beep.

Iku quickly floated to the jail door, but it was locked with a "Jetless Corporations Supreme Lock" on it. So, like any sensible youkai with powers did, she tried destroying the walls and leaving. Except, of course, the walls being the walls of a jail house, specially designed to hold Tenshi, ended up remaining tall and proud.

A couple seconds later, the entire compound exploded. The celestials watched as the jail house erupted in a gout of flames and was shredded to pieces. The two unfortunate people inside were tossed like dolls away from the explosion. Iku was knocked out, but Tenshi was yelling, "YEAH! That's the stuff!" Both had burned clothes, but miraculously, Iku's scarf was left untouched. The explosion then manifested as a fiery giant made of burning scraps of the jail house, cloud bits, and three pairs of glowing red eyes. It was, of course, way smaller than Hisou Tensoku, but started heading towards the other houses.

"ATTACK THE GIANT!" Iku had regained consciousness, grabbeded Tenshi, and pointed at the flaming construction. The celestials obliged while Iku started slapping Tenshi for a long time.

"Tenshi, you idiot! You could've gotten yourself killed!"

…

After the bringing down of the flaming automaton, Iku started looking for the Sword of Hisou, but it was not in sight. "Uh oh, this is not good.

Higher up in the sky, Jet Less was floating, holding the object that Iku was desperately looking for. He placed it into his backpack, and creatued a sparkly snowstorm to make everybody underneath it and above the clouds go to sleep. He started humming. Yukari floated besides him, mind set on causing some more trouble. Because she was bored. She had left Ran and Chen in her house, and was talking with Jet Less on what to do next.

"What's next? Well, we wait. We could also set up a puppet villain of some sorts, until they figure out what's really happening."

"And the protagonists?"

"Well, you already know who. The regulars, Teddy, and others. The antagonists, well, just wait and see." The two left in their respective form of transportation. Yukari through her gaps, Jet Less by teleportation. Silence fell as the snow continued to drift down…

* * *

><p><em>Eh heh heh, I may have put people into OOC mode right here. Ah well. Umm, I seem to be too busy playing Hisoutensoku and Scarlet Weather Rhapsody right now. I seem to do better in fighting games than the shoot-em-up games. Ah well. The owner of the mysterious, well, not mysterious, Jetless corporations makes his face known! Well, only in heaven. Now, what do you think those two (referring to Jet Less and Yukari) are planning?<em>


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